Economics of a wardrobe

Dear Ever-expanding wardrobe,

JB, you once explained to me the clever economics of your wardrobe. How, as a season presses close, the previous season will slowly move back into the realm of retail through eBay and the like. You know that saying, “make your money work for you,” well I admire your industrious nature, and how you make your clothes work for more clothes.

Not me though.

The first and most crippling reason is my size. I will expand on this thought at a later date, but to put it simply, the demand for midget sized shoes and a child’s medium in pants is not very high.

Secondly, I’m fucking lazy. I’m not lazy when it comes to the ‘doing.’ Oh no, I do all the time. I shift my clothes from country to country, house to house. I am very active in keeping them around and near me – even the ones that never get worn. You cannot question my dedication to my clothes. What I am lazy about is the act of having to predict the future. I don’t have time for that.

How do you do it, Jess? Not only do you have to anticipate and forecast upcoming trends and shifts in the fashion landscape, you have to also anticipate future-you. What if future-you goes craycray after a weekend partying with Germans on the beach, and decides to only wear floral wraps. What if future-you moves to Paris, and you need to revisit all those drapey black pieces you surrendered to eBay? What if future-you doesn’t do denim? Or ONLY does denim?

Ultimately, the only thing messing up the economics of my wardrobe is me and future-me. I guess this is why I can’t trade stocks or bulk buy food – I know that future-me is gonna fuck things up. Just like any other aspect of life, people make unpredictable decisions constantly, and fashion is the same. If only I more were like you, Jess, and had that special talent of turning clothes into more clothes. Maybe I’d be a different person altogether.




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